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    He told me he opened, every time, with the exact same line: There she is? I pushed There She Is out of mind; I didn't think I'd ever be the kind of person to use a "line" on Tinder or anywhere in life. But then in December, after being plunged back into the muck of single adulthood, I rejoined Tinder and very quickly realized that, at 28 years old, I still don't know how to talk to other people. Well "worked," within the narrow confines of "got someone to respond." I spammed dozens of Tinder matches. Tinder is a factory and you shouldn't pretend it's even vaguely romantic. In a thoroughly scientific study of "there she is" (you could swap in any pronoun, I believe) efficacy, I found superior results compared to stock messages of "hey," "oh I see from your pictures that you've also been to Texas," and "do you like baseball because I like baseball."I don't blame Devon for never replying to me. On Tinder, where I am still able to approach women brave enough to face an army of unfiltered straight men, my options are limited: "Hey" is awful, "hi" is pathetic, "heyyy" is juvenile, "yo" is lazy.